lexirose-is-cool:

“HUMAN HANDS ARE SO WEAK”

“DAMMIT how you do this without telekinesis?”

“WHAT IS THIS SENSATION CALLED PAIN”

chemicaldarkshine:

hardestcopy:

bijou1986:

A Mom went to have dinner with her son who lives with his roommate.
During the course of the meal, his mother couldn’t help but notice how handsome his roommate was. She had been suspicious about her sons sexuality but being a good mother she felt that he would let her know if and when the time was right but seeing the two together just made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the interaction between the two she wondered even more if there was more here than meets the eye. Her son, sensing his mothers watchfully eye volunteered, “really Mom, I can tell what you’re thinking and you can just get it out of your mind, we are just roommates and nothing more”.

About a week later the roommate remarked, “ever since your mother was here the silver serving platter has been missing, do you think she took it?”

He responded, “Well I’m sure she didn’t but I will email her and ask just to be sure” he sat down and wrote:

Hey Mom
I’m not saying you did take the silver platter from the house and I am not saying you didn’t take it but the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love,
Your Son.

A couple days later he got a response from his mother:

Dear Son,
I am not saying that you do sleep with your roommate and I am not saying that you don’t sleep with him and you know I love you and could care less either way but the fact remains that if he was sleeping in his own bed he would have found the platter under his pillow.
When are the two of you coming for dinner?
Love,
Mom

BEST MOM

I’m crYING

yesicanbelieveit:

so-so-lovely:

HARRY POTTER DUBSTEP

JUST PRESS PLAY.

My soul is orgasming.

Put on headphones

Close your eyes.

s-nogbox:

impalaincamelot:

brbchurch:

GHOST, GHOST FACERS!

Someone needs to take this gif, and put the Yahoo logo on cas and the tumblr logo on the ghost facers.

Here you go! :)

therainbowpanda9:

So, you bought Tumblr. But that doesn’t mean that you can change it the way you want to. Remember the millions of blogs and the billions of posts this site has? That’s all going to go away once you change this site for the worse. Millions of users will vanish before your eyes. So I suggest that you keep it the way it is and don’t throw all of your Yahoo shit into it, ok?

-The Tumblr Users

junglecatdeathkick:

Clara Oswald… travelling through time, space and hollywood apparently!

singularprincess:

WE CAN FIX THIS

WHY DON’T WE BUY YAHOO

i can see it now.

deconsecrator:

so about 2 weeks ago i was browsing on ebay for $1 rings for cosplay, and i came across this satanic one that i thought i would be hilarious to get because of its name

little did i know that the seller would put the item’s name in great detail on the package

needless to say, lunch with family was awkward

didn’t help that the seller was called babygrabber

behavingisoverrated:

pizza:

there’s 100 millon ppl on tumblr so if we all put in $20 we could buy tumblr for $2 billion and then yahoo couldn’t have it

PIZZA YOU’RE SO SMART

purgasorry:

yahoo yahoo                       yahoo              yahoo yahoo yahoo yahoo

yahoo     yahoo                   yahoo              yahoo                       yahoo

yahoo          yahoo              yahoo              yahoo                       yahoo

yahoo               yahoo         yahoo              yahoo                       yahoo

yahoo                    yahoo    yahoo              yahoo                       yahoo

yahoo                         yahoo yaho              yahoo                       yahoo

yahoo                             yahoo ya              yahoo yahoo yahoo yahoo

martincrief:

TOMORROW IS THE 23RD OF NOVEMBER ISN’T IT?

thats-slightly-raven:

thats-slightly-raven:

thats-slightly-raven:

I’m going to call my first born child Shrek and no one can stop me.

I’ve received 9 messages telling me that this is child abuse and I also lost 17 followers I’m not naming my first born child Shrek.

I hate you

all-hail-the-moffinator:

sackville-baggins:

sackville-baggins:

Maybe this time when I read Order of the Phoenix Sirius won’t die

He died.

I read somewhere that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over again and expecting different results.